Friday, November 14, 2008

Dreaming of Reality

Four weeks ago I was letting my dogs out in the morning, barefooted and a little groggy, when all of a sudden my foot started to burn. I sat down and looked at the bottom of it and there was a juicy yellow and black smudge which resembled a bee. I quickly wiped away the residue of the now deceased bee and pulled out the venomous stinger. I've never been allergic to bee's or anything really, and I thought that this would just be an extremely annoying itchy bump on the bottom of my foot. Well that would have been nice, but it didn't happen that was, and I became allergic, and then blah blah blah long story short, it messed me up pretty good for the past month.
So where this story is going is; last night while dreaming I was enjoying a sunny day at the beach, the wind was light, the waves were lulling, and the sand was soft as silk. Then BAM something happened and I literally woke up with the worst pain in my foot as if I had been stung again. I panicked sitting straight up, and holding on to my foot like it was about to fall off. My foot was burning again in the same spot, but quickly subsided so that I could fall back asleep and enjoy the rest of my time at the ocean.
What a cruel joke my mind and foot were playing on me! It was as if my subconscious was using my pain against me. I wonder what I did to up set it so?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's a Mad Mad Chapter, But NOT the Mad Hatter's Chapter

My favorite chapter in Alice and Wonderland is Pig and Pepper. And simply because it is MAD!!! So the title doesn't have MAD in it, and doesn't have the Mad Hatter, it is still so curious. Alice doesn't want to be mad, or have others consider her mad, but she just can't help but feel mad because of the incredible vivid dream she is creating as she speaks to the Cheshire Cat of not being mad. In fact that is curious, because she is saying she is not mad, and she is dreaming others are saying she is mad, and she has this ability to control what these other characters are saying,and yet she is still convinced she is mad! It is as if she is in a nightmare with colors, love, hate, desire, knowledge, passion, adulthood, and childhood. Even though she cannot accept herself as ALICE. She is who she is, but does not feel that.

Monday, November 3, 2008

dreaming gave me a headache

As I started to drift off into dreamland, I had no idea what was going to take place in my subconscious in the passing hours.

It all started out in a home, which looked nothing like my parents home in California, but it felt as though it was. I was not me, but a little girl jumping rope in the living room with hardwood floors and big open windows. The television was on, and I paying little attention to the breaking news. As I skipped to the side door to go out into the driveway to continue jumping rope, I hear from the news caster "Killer on the loose, please take precaution and make sure all children are in your site at all times." This was interesting, I remember thinking, but jumping rope was just that much more entertaining at the time. I stepped outside and looked down the driveway. To my surprise a man in dark clothing was walking up the driveway that was exactly the same driveway at my parents home. I got scared and tried to run inside the house, but he grabbed my shoulder with icy hands and turned my around. He had a knife in his hand that I wrestled away from him and started to stab him in his mouth that was wide open as if he was a snake dislocating his jaw to swallow me whole. But the knife transformed into a butter knife, and became limb causing no damage to the man holding me. He finally grabbed my hand with the impotent knife and said, "Now it's your turn." Lifting the knife above his head, I woke up! My head was pounding, and I felt very sick. I took myself to the bathroom got a glass of water, and decided to fall back asleep.

Then poof! I was back in the same dream, but this time I wasn't the little girl, but the mother, seeing my daughter dead outside the door. I quickly grabbed for the phone and dialed 911. The voice on the other end told me to lock the door, and turn on the TV. She said that there would be information that I needed to fallow, because the police would not be able to get to the house for a little while due to the fact that this family lived a significant way outside of town. I quickly reached for the remote turned on the TV and the only thing to show up with a blue screen with the number 75 white. I picked up my son, and placed him in a back room with a windows everywhere and a one door. "Now stay in here, and you know the way out if you have to leave." I told him as I locked the door behind me leaving him in the room. I ran to lock the door when it opened and the killer was there. "Now it's your turn," he said again. And I woke up! again with a splitting headache. So I got some Advil this time and drank another glass of water, and tried to go back to sleep.

It took a while this time to fall back asleep, due to the fact of the vivid images in my head from my nightmare. But finally I fell back asleep, and POOF! I was in the dream again! But this time I was the son in the glass room. In my mind I had the images of my mother being murdered and me shutting the door. I remembered she told me I knew the way out if I needed to leave, and I opened a trap door in the floor and crawled down under a porch with very cold and fine dirt, that I started to cover my body in. Then I had a sickening feeling that the killer would fine me there and I crawled to yet another porch that had the same dirt that I covered myself in again. As I got close to being fully covered, I had the same feeling that the killer would fine me and that I needed to run down the hill to the neighbors. As I started to run, the land opened up and it was a beautiful meadow, with butterflies, wildflowers, and blossoming trees. I remember feeling very peaceful as I made my way to the neighbors house just in sight. Then I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, and I was whipped around. He was the most hideous looking demon with dim yellow eyes, and gray skin that wrinkled, his breath was sticky on my face as he said, "Now it's your turn to die." Right as he lifted his hand he transformed into a man with a feeling of holiness, that was in my sight for a split second and then I woke up again! And this time my eyes were cramped shut, and my headache was worse than ever. I felt my forehead and it was burning and actually pulsing. My eyes finally stopped cramping and I could see again.

I didn't fall back asleep, I opted to stay away because of the concerned of what might happen next. It was such a strange and in depth dream that I was not sure what to make of it. The whole day it consumed my thoughts with the headache lingering in my third eye, and by the next night, I was still worried to fall asleep, but curious as to what might happen. I let myself drift away into dreamland once more. The next morning I woke up with a blank slate, no recollection of a dream, and just the painful memory of my headache.